This is something I read in "the Patience news" while waiting at the doctors. It is absolutely hilarious.

NOAH'S ARK 2005

In the year 2005, The Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Canada, and said,"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build an Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six month to build the Ark before I will start the rain for 40 days and 40 nights". Six month later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no ark. "Noah", he roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?" Forgive me Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then Transport Canada and the Departments of moving power, trolley and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they wouldn't hear of it. The wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go! When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the Ark was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Also the trades union say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience. To make matters worse, Canada Customs and Revenue Agency seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me Lord, but it would take at least yen years for me to finish this Ark." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked. You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"................................."NO," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Hope you enjoyed this one